Liar, liar pants on fire.

22 Sep

Hello, Lovers. It’s that time again. Time for me to tell  you my opinions and for you to roll your eyes. So, here is the topic of the day: the death penalty. Now, I am not going to have an argument about whether the death penalty is right or wrong (mainly because I am almost always too lazy to argue). I am just here to point out some things I have observed over my long and distinguished life of 27 years.

This whole Troy Davis Thing has got people talking about the death penalty lately (at least that’s what I think based on my recent Twitter feeds). I have been thinking about it ever since those classless audience members clapped during the debate when Rick Perry said Texas has executed about 79803497 billion people since last week (I love conservative rednecks as much as anybody-I mean, I am one. But I don’t like followers who don’t think for themselves and that’s what was happening there.). Or whatever it was.

Anyway, when we talk about the death penalty, someone always has to say “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth! That’s what the Bible says!” Well, friends, I hope you are not one of those Christians who is misrepresenting what the Bible says and confusing the non-Christians. I also hope you are not a non-Christian who is confused by that verse of the Bible that seems to obviously contradict the whole message of the rest of the thang (and wonder why Christians are so dumb that they can’t see that contradiction).

So, here’s what that part of the Bible really says. And let me remind you that I could just be flat-out lying so you should never believe what someone else or the internet says that the Bible says. You should just check for yourself. But, in case you are too lazy and you trust me, here’s an expanded section of the “eye for an eye” verse.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”  -Matthew 5:38-42

To me, this is pretty much as plain as you can get. Don’t kill people for revenge. Now, having said that, I realize we are supposed to have separation of church and state and all that. So, fine. I just don’t like it when people quote the Bible to support their political point and don’t tell the whole story.

So, the moral is, just don’t kill anyone (or poke out their eye or knock out their tooth) and you should be okay.


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