Big city turn me loose and set me free

30 May

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

Friends, I hope you are doing well. I know I am. Well, I think I am. Actually, I’m not sure but I feel like I should be doing well so I probably am. Last Friday was the last day of the 2012 legislative session and it came just in the nick of time. Literally. By the last week, I was wearing flip flops and alternating between muumuus and maternity jeans (Yeah, jeans. At my job. At the Capitol.). I just didn’t have much choice and I almost fell asleep like five times in my spot outside the House chamber. I am practicing for when I become a sargeant in 47 years.

Anyhoo, since that chaos is now over with, I am operating from home a lot more which is just better for everyone. Except I’m exhausted from catching up on all the things I literally swept under the rug during session. Seriously, don’t ever look under my rugs February through May, okay? My main project, goal and focus in life (besides having a kid in 2.5 months) is getting my house unannexed from OKC.

“Unannexed?” you ask. “Yes, unannexed,” I answer. Is that even actually a word? I’m not sure. Spell-check doesn’t really think so. But I bet you can figure out what it means. So, Spencer and I made a rookie home buyer mistake and kind of bought a house that is not actually in the town that we thought it was in. I know. We wanted something out in the country, on a few acres but still within driving distance of our jobs in OKC. So, we found this little place called “Newalla.” It is, like, really far from the city, y’all. I mean, it takes 15 minutes to get to I-35 or 15 minutes to get to Shawnee going the other direction. We have a 74 zip code rather than a 73 one. We are in McCloud school district. Soooo, not being from the city, we assumed we were outside it’s evil grasp in Newalla. Well, all it took was one afternoon of shooting some semi-automatic military-style rifles and here come the poe-poes. The OKC poe-poes. They were very polite (which is always pleasant, considering the fact that a rude cop usually ends up with me being threatened and told to stop yelling) as they informed us that since we are inside the city limits, we really shouldn’t be practicing for the zombie apocalypse in our yard. Whaaaaa?!

So, of course, I do some extensive researching (aka, Googling) and learn that OKC had this huge power grab back in the 50’s and 60’s because they wanted to be humongous. And also cause they are jerks. And also because apparently, people around here aren’t radical enough and they don’t know that sometimes you gotta fight for your right. Now, having learned this, I have set about trying to find out how to get unannexed. Unfortunately, I have thus far been unsuccessful in figuring out how to do that. My best guess is that I would have to get all the neighbors riled up. But then what? I can’t figure out what’s in it for OKC. I know everyone says taxes. But, honestly, there are just one or maybe two gas stations. There is a little cluster of businesses at an intersection a few miles east of here, but the lady at the feed store told me the sales tax was only 4% there. Which led me to believe they were not in OKC city limits. But then I found out the city limits go all the way to Pottawatomie Co. So, I’m just confused.

The next question is, what’s in it for us? Why would my neighbors not be with me on this? Well, we get trash service. Seriously, that’s it. And it’s $30/month which I think is a rip-off anyway. And my neighbors have horses. Do you have to get a permit for that? What about leash laws? What about bow-hunting (trust me, there is hunting going on, I’m just not sure how.)? How about fires? I’m pretty sure we aren’t allowed to burn anything but since all the neighbors do it, I’m guessing that’s why they haven’t turned us in on that one.

What I really want is to either have our own little township of Newalla or get annexed by McCloud. Harrah is closer but I guess if we are in McCloud school district, I can go with that. I was thinking we might have more luck if we could entice a neighboring town with our wonderful tax dollars and get them on board rather than trying to go it alone. As you might imagine, I know some people who know about this kind of stuff. They pretty much think I’m dumb and it’s never going to happen. But maybe it could. Then, I wouldn’t have to worry that Spencer is going to want to move again in a couple of years. And I could shoot a deer. I mean, really, it’s going to be OKC’s fault when I have to try to spear one and it’s walking around all speared and probably getting an infection and that just won’t be good PR for them, now will it?!

Okay, I have rambled on long enough. If anyone has any advice or suggestions for me, PLEASE SHARE. I am an idiot at this. I have no idea what I’m doing. But, I really think I should look into it and even if it might take years, it might be worth it. Okay, go!


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