How Kelly Bundy inspired me

19 Oct

Awhile back, I wrote a blog about how Peggy Bundy inspired me. Now, it’s Kelly Bundy who’s lighting the fire beneath my ample booty. Who would think characters from a show I wasn’t even allowed to watch would have such an impact on me? Married with Children is ranking right up there with Sunday school teachers and my FFA adviser.

Why am I so enthused about Christina Applegate these days? Because on this season of Up All Night (a show that’s a lot funnier to me now that I am up all night with a baby rather than up all night party rockin’.) she’s skinny. And last season she wasn’t.

Okay, obviously not fat. But heavier than before she got pregnant.

True conversation:

Me: dang, she’s skinny now! She must’ve had a baby.
Spencer: huh?
Me: she was a lot plumper last season so obviously it was from having a baby since she’s this skinny now.
Spencer: oh.

He loves his celeb gossip. Since he was so uninteractive, I had this convo with my sister. She confirmed that she had seen CA on a talk show and yes, she did have a baby (BTW, I’m pretty sure the same thing is going on with Maya Rudolph but I’m too lazy busy to look it up.).

Here’s a clip of her talking about it.

Hallelujah! It took her awhile to get the baby weight off, people, but she DID IT (for the most part, anyway)! Now, here are the disclaimers for all you argumentative types. 1.) She is a skinny person. I mean, I weighed more in seventh grade than she did during her MWC days. So, she probably had nature on her side. My body is naturally stocky. I have accepted that. I’m not trying to look like Kelly Bundy. 2.) She is on TV so she probably has someone to watch the baby while she works out, access to all the healthiest menus and a housekeeper. Probably so. But maybe she’s busier than me because she’s on TV.

And I don’t know if you have picked up on this about me or not, but I’m pretty confident. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have been called cocky and/or arrogant behind my back (cause I would punch them if they said it to my face). That’s because I know I’m awesome enough to accomplish whatever I want. It just might take longer than I want. This is where my lack of patience becomes a problem. And maybe this is my opportunity to work on that.

Maybe every time I go somewhere, I need to stop being in a terrible mood just because it took me two hours and thirteen outfits to realize nothing looks good. Maybe I should just accept that nothing’s going to look good right now but that it’s not always going to be so bad.

Get back to work, Brown! Stop being such a baby! Whining never got anybody anywhere! Are you going to let Kelly Bundy beat you?!

(That is Coach Condict. He yells at me when I need an attitude adjustment. He’s really just me with a manlier voice, bigger muscles and a whistle. And he’s in my head.)

Bet you can’t wait to see my sexy self next swimsuit season, can ya?

(If I’m still fat next swimsuit season, I will come back and delete this post.)


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