Hard things

8 Nov

Abortion. That’s what this entire post is about. And it’s long. If you don’t want to think about it or hear the cold, hard truth, then you are probably the one who needs to read this the most.

God has been dealing with me on this issue for a long time. Years. I have been running away from it for a long time. Years. Sure, if someone asked, I would tell them what I thought. But I wouldn’t DO anything. Voting doesn’t count. But this conviction has been eating away at my heart and mind so long now that I can’t avoid it anymore: if I know babies are being killed and I do nothing but wrinkle my nose at it, then am I not guilty of murder? I feel like I am. And no offense, but I feel like you are, too.

Don’t kid yourselves, it is murder. I think a lot of people comfort themselves with Roe v. Wade. If it was really killing, the law wouldn’t allow it- right? Apparently not. I keep from going insane with rage by telling myself that when that case was decided, they didn’t have the technology we have now. Maybe they didn’t know that you could hear the baby’s heart beating at seven weeks. Seven weeks. For most women, it’s impossible to know you’re pregnant before three weeks. And if you’re not trying to get pregnant (therefore obsessively testing daily), you probably wouldn’t know for a few more weeks. So, by the time you find out, decide to kill it and have your appointment, the heartbeat will be audible. A couple more weeks and you could see your baby dancing around in there. I like to think that if this technology had been available then, Roe v. Wade would’ve had a different outcome. But it wasn’t and it didn’t. So why does that mean we can’t reexamine it in light of new evidence?

I have friends who haven’t thought this issue through all the way. A position I often hear is that they are against abortion most of the time but if the mom is a scumbag, the baby is better off because it would probably have a bad life anyway. Sometimes it sounds like this: “People shouldn’t use abortion as birth control but I think in certain situations, it’s okay.” This makes NO logical sense. Why shouldn’t women use it as birth control? If there’s nothing wrong with abortion because the baby isn’t a real person yet, then why isn’t it an acceptable form of birth control? And if it isn’t an acceptable form of birth control, it’s because you’re killing a baby. And if you’re killing a baby, then there should never be a circumstance where that’s okay. You don’t get to decide whether the baby would be better off never being born. You don’t know. What about already born babies who have hard lives? Maybe they have crappy parents or serious health problems. Maybe they should be put out of their misery? What about a six year old? What I’m getting at comes down to this question: At what point is it okay to end human life? 7 weeks in utero? Twenty weeks in utero? 39 weeks? Immediately after birth? 97 years old? No matter which point you pick, it is a human life (whether fully developed or not, no one can deny that it is living) and an abortion ends that life. So, at what point is it okay to do that?

Then there’s the rape/incest exception. Many who are against abortion still think there should be an exception for incest and rape (Personally, I think this category should just be referred to as “rape” because to say “incest” separately indicates that it would be consensual incest. Which means that people conceiving babies accidentally should not be allowed to abort, unless they conceived the baby with their brother. Those people should be allowed to. What?!) I think these are well-meaning people. I can’t imagine the pain of conceiving a baby from a rape. I have personal experiences that I’m not going to talk about but which do allow me to sympathize with these women. It would be awful. Lately some male political figures have failed to express their distaste for the rape exception with tact and empathy. Most men cannot know what it feels like to be overpowered and forced into sexual activity by someone bigger and stronger (unless they were molested). Some are able to be more sympathetic by nature, but many just have no clue what it might feel like. I think most women can imagine. So, pro-life men, you must tread this issue very carefully.

But, we have to remember that it’s not the baby’s fault and it shouldn’t be punished for the sins of its father. How can you say it’s wrong to kill an unborn baby unless it’s a rape baby? It’s still a baby. Could you face a grown person who was conceived in rape and tell them that they shouldn’t have been born? Many pro-lifers want to say “Let’s just leave the exception in to get the law passed. We’ll come back for the 1% but we need to save the ones we can now.” Well, that’s fine, but no one has ever come back for the 1%. They matter too!

A lot of people say “Well, I would never get an abortion but I can’t help it if other people do.” Is that what you would say if it was legal to kill already born babies? That you can’t help it?

Then there’s the woman’s body issue. Guess what- a baby isn’t the woman’s body. It’s a totally separate body living inside hers. It has its own blood type. I have heard a man say “I don’t want someone telling me what to do with my balls so I’m not going to tell a woman what to do with her parts.” This is so idiotic. No one wants to tell a woman what to do with her ovaries or uterus, either. Please, feel free to get a hysterectomy if you want. If babies lived inside men’s balls, that argument might make a little more sense.

Why do I never hear anything about fathers rights? The baby is his, too. It’s just a fact of life that the baby has to grow inside the woman but she didn’t make it alone. At what point should the father have a say?

I’m tired of hearing that pro-lifers don’t care about babies once they’re out of the womb. That’s BS. Just because a citizen may not agree with every welfare program the government can think up, doesn’t mean they aren’t doing their part to help the poor. Trust me, these are ones adopting the most children. You don’t have to believe big government is the way, the truth and the life to care about people. The government does a terrible job of it anyway. BUT, pro-lifers, we need to do more. That’s the journey I’m heading down now. I’m looking into and praying about what I can do. You need to do the same. Expect a follow-up post with information about what I find.

We have an issue in this country with people being sheep. With taking the path of least resistance. It’s easy to believe that if the law says something is okay, then it’s okay. Laws are made by people and not always the smartest people. People can be wrong. So why can’t laws be wrong?

I know good women who have had abortions. I don’t condemn them for doing so. I don’t think they’re bad. But I do think they made the wrong choice. It’s so much more common than most people think, especially men. Women don’t generally tell everyone they know when they have an abortion. Off the top of my head, I can think of three good friends whom I love dearly who have aborted babies. Babies that could’ve gone to loving homes. I’m not saying it would be easy. Obviously, it would be the opposite. I realize the challenges. I also realize accidental pregnancies are going to happen. It’s easy to say everyone should be responsible and not put themselves in these situations to begin with, but that won’t stop it from happening. But maybe we could make it easier to choose life. Maybe the adoption process could be easier. Maybe we can help people be more informed about abortion. I truly believe that many women who abort babies simply don’t understand what is really going on inside their bodies at the moment they abort. I don’t know. I don’t know what the answers are. But, I intend to try to find out.

This whole post is basically intended to make you think and to let me get these things off my chest. I’m guessing that if you don’t agree with me somewhat, you probably would have gotten offended and stopped reading long ago. Don’t bother arguing with me if you don’t. It won’t change my mind. This is a hard subject to think about. That’s why a lot of people push it to the back of their minds and refuse to think about it. But we can do hard things. Let’s
try.

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2 Responses to “Hard things”

  1. McKenzie November 8, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

    I totally agree! It’s hard to be a mom, abort a baby or place one for adoption. No easy choice, but there is definitely a wrong one. Keep us posted on what you find about doing more!

  2. Heather @ CrawdadsInMySink November 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm #

    I will!

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