So, this is motherhood

7 Feb

Well, here’s one for ya. Spence had an appointment in OKC today but he took off the whole day so Jack and I decided to come with him. Well, Jack fell asleep on the way so I decided to just sit in the car with him whilst Spence tended to his business. But, I hadta pee. That’s normal. I apparently have a bladder the size of an underdeveloped acorn because even before I got pregnant, I had to go #1 constantly. While I was pregnant it was just ridiculous. Now it’s back to the normal (for me) amount but I’m pretty nervous about holding it ever since that time when Jack was a couple months old and I wet myself when I did a jumping jack.

So, I’m sitting here waiting and waiting for the kid to wake up (thank goodness I have a smart phone to entertain me) and it’s just not happening. Eventually I realize we are approaching a potential disaster. Even though I do have leather seats now, I did not bring an extra pair of pants. So, as I see it, I have three options.

1. Wake Jack up, go in to the office and use their facilities. Yeah, right. This is the one all you people who don’t have kids would probably pick.
2. Pee somewhere within view of the car which contains the sleeping babe.
3. Pee my pants.

Obviously option two is the only logical choice. I’m country. This really ain’t no thang. So, I start looking for the best place. I can go in front of the Suburban in between it and the wall which would protect me on three sides but leave the front passenger side open. I decide the spot least likely to earn me a place on the sex offender registry is in between my door and the back drivers side door. I’ve done this a lot, it’s just usually been in a more rural location.

While I’m considering this, the car parked next to me on the driver’s side pulls away. Greeeaaat. Now I have to wait for someone else to park there in order to have all four sides somewhat blocked. This also alerts me to the fact that the owner of the car I pee next to could come out at any moment. Well, I guess that’s called livin’ on the edge, people.

But eventually, another car does park beside me, thankfully. So, anyhoo, I get out, do my business, being careful not to squat far enough down that any of my bits are showing underneath the doors, keep an eye on the opening that presented the most threat of being seen, use a Schlotsky’s napkin and get back in. Jack is still asleep, I have not visually molested anyone and my bladder feels happy again.

But, there’s definitely pee all over my shoe. I guess I’m somewhat out of practice.


3 Responses to “So, this is motherhood”

  1. McKenzie February 8, 2013 at 5:54 pm #

    You are priceless! Seriously you make me laugh with every blog. You just do what ya gotta do! No shame!

  2. Tabi February 11, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

    Bahahaha! Oh the lovely joys of Motherhood!!! It’s ALWAYS something, isn’t it?!

    Did you clean your shoe?!? 🙂

  3. Heather @ CrawdadsInMySink February 19, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

    Nah, Spencer told me pee is sterile so it’s okay! lol

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