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Holding it in

30 Oct

I have been struggling lately. When something is on my mind or I don’t know what to do, I long to talk about it with someone. But sometimes it’s best not to say anything (because it involves other people and you don’t know if you should be talking about them or not). And that’s when I would normally write about it in some vague blog and hope that would relieve the pressure to share without putting anybody on the spot. But sometimes it’s best not to.

And I know that what I’m supposed to do is pray about it. But sometimes that’s not very satisfying because I want to know what to do NOW. I get anxiety about uncertainty. I have trouble just being and waiting. I need to take some action!

Today, as I thought about the things I long to say, I vacillated between emotions and approaches and perspectives. I am so afraid of letting myself hold these things in and continue to be hurt by them but I am so afraid of hurting someone else by talking about them because we all know I can really let fly with the wrong words and the wrong tone when I get going. So as I prayed today I kept remembering to “wait on the Lord.” (Ps 27:14) Just wait, Heather.

The world is not going to fall apart if I don’t fix everything today. I think I will just wait on Him to do something or to show me what to do because “God is not the author of confusion” (1 Cor 14:33). If I am confused, then I have not heard from Him. Right?

Thanks for letting me talk this out in a vague blog post. I had no idea what was in my head until I read it.

ALSO: This is important and I came back to a finished yet unpublished post just to add it. I have written here and elsewhere about the daily devotional I’ve been doing, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I wrote that I was skeptical of it before I began because from what little I had seen, the entries seemed to be her putting words in God’s mouth. You can read my post about that here.

But, today I saw this link. The question we are discussing starts right around minute 6. I have a lot of trust in what Hank has to say because of his vast, amazing knowledge of the Bible. He may possibly have the entire thing memorized. It seems Hank’s concern with Jesus Calling is 1. that people use devotionals as a replacement for the Bible 2. that people will read Sarah’s words and believe they are God’s and 3. that Sarah makes things up sometimes. I totally agree on #1 and I want to explain my point of view on #2. As I read the devotionals, in my mind, it is like I am reading Sarah’s prayer journal and she is just sharing what she felt lead to write down, NOT that these are God’s words. As far as #3, I have no idea about that but I would hate to think that I need to research the personal history of every author whose works I read. But maybe I do?

Anyway, I wanted everyone to have the chance to hear Hank’s thoughts lest I recommend something crazy to everybody. I take his concerns very seriously.

Beware deadly acorns

24 Oct

Well, everyone, fall has arrived full force in central Oklahoma along the I-40 corridor (most likely in the rest of Oklahoma, too). This morning the wind was ripping acorns from the blackjacks and spitting them across the yard like a shotgun. I got pelted and when I reacted in a completely appropriate way by screaming and covering my head, Jack copied me and now the neighbors probably think he has PTSD or something because he won’t quit it.

Anyway, once I had recovered, I got back to calmly drinking my coffee with Spencer while we leaned against the shed. Jack was playing in the yard and turned around to smile and wave once , then resumed his activities. So sweet. He thought of us in the middle of his concentration and effort to find the perfect rock. He wanted to stop what he was doing just to connect with us for a moment.

And I remembered that while I was doing my morning quiet time (I did it late today). I wonder if it delights God’s heart for us to take a moment out of our busy work and just say, “Hi, God” the way it does a mama’s heart when her baby does it? “I just want to connect with you for a minute, God. I want to remember you.” Don’t you think he loves that? I do.050edit

Hope Spoken link-up

23 Oct

Hey, everybody! Today’s post is a link-up with the other attendees of the Hope Spoken conference so that we can get to know each other a little online before we meet in March.

The leading ladies (Casey, Danielle and Emily) have provided some guidelines for our link-up posts and one of the things they asked for was a picture. Luckily I already had my mom’s good DSLR here because I was trying to take some fall pictures of Jack. But he is too crazy for photo shoots. So, I got Spencer to take a pic for me so that I could post a high quality and extremely recent one. It was pretty awkward but we did it.

Heeeeeeyy

Heeeeeeyy

As for an introduction, it all began on a beautiful day in April, 1984…Just kidding. I have no idea what the weather was like the day I was born. Anyway, I’m 29 years old and a homemaking mama to a fifteen-month-old crazy lunatic boy and wife to a tall, smart, compassionate man. I’ve lived in Oklahoma all my life except for that one summer when I did an internship in D.C. for a US Senator. That’s how I know the big city isn’t my speed. I graduated from Oklahoma State University with a degree in Agricultural communications (yes, we talk to cows) and a minor in political science and then I got to work as a lobbyist here in Oklahoma for a couple years before Jack was born. I’m pretty much a redneck and I try to embrace that without crossing over to white trash. I am passionate and adamant about the fact that God loves every person created in his image including the pre-born and therefore we should love them too. I don’t think loving people means agreeing with them so that they don’t get mad at you. Originality moves me. So does ice cream.

Now I’m supposed to say something I’m feeling timid or nervous about for the weekend of Hope Spoken. I have a few. The main thing I’m feeling nervous about is that I may not get to go! I already bought a ticket and everything but my husband may have a work trip come up at the same time in Florida and he invited me to go with him. So, I’m really hoping they don’t fall on the same weekend. I’m also a little worried about the money. I feel kind of nervous about spending money for the ticket and a hotel room when our savings account is overdrawn (it literally is).

Something I’m hoping to take away from the conference is inspiration. And new friendships. And maybe some swag. But mainly inspiration.

Now something fun/random about myself…hmmm…but I’m so normal…this is like when you have to say a special talent and you can’t think of one…

Edited to add: I forgot to add something fun/random about myself before I published! I hate being scared and so I stay far away from creepy movies and roller coasters. I’ve tried so many times to see the fun in it but it’s not for me! I’m a party pooper!

Can’t adopt but want to help the least of these?

16 Oct

Good morning, Friends! I hope you are enjoying your day. I have some things I need to share with EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

Last night I listened to a talk given by Lindsy Wallace through the Influence Network. The class was on caring for orphans outside of adoption. So, it was basically about how to follow God’s command to care for orphans when you are in a place where you don’t feel like you can adopt. I’m sure anyone who knows me knows that I consider pre-born children who are unwanted by their parents to be orphans just like older children. Many of the verses Lindsy referenced on caring for orphans are ones that I use to understand why we must defend the pre-born (loving your neighbor, caring for orphans, caring for the least of these) and I feel like I can sense something being built, something about to come full-circle for me.

Lindsy’s talk was so helpful and I would encourage everyone to check it out because it will be available in the Influence Network shop at some point for only $10. But, in case you don’t check it out, I’ll share some things I learned from her.

First of all, I really agreed with her on basically everything she said. I think we would “get” each other. So many people have this either/or mentality about the sanctity of human life and, really, we need to have an all-encompassing, holistic approach. When you have the worldview that Jesus loves and cares for every single person, you realize it doesn’t matter if they are pre-born, older, American or African. We should be defending life AND caring for children in orphanages (group homes). We should be helping children at home AND abroad.

Lindsy also pointed out that orphans do not exist in a vacuum. Something happens in a child’s family that leads to them becoming an orphan. If we can begin to look at supporting families and specifically moms, (crisis pregnancy centers do this well for pre-born children) we can help to keep children from becoming orphans in the first place.

She opened my eyes to some issues I had no idea about. Did you know that there are ministries to help refugees all over the US? I had no idea that there was a need to help refugees- or even that there were refugees- in Oklahoma City! For information on that, check out The Spero Project or just Google “refugee ministry” in your local area.

Another thing I noted was that you can become a mentor to an older child in foster care who is getting close to aging out of the system. Often, when these kids turn 18, they are sent out on their own and they literally have no one in life. You could become a friend to them and give them somewhere to go on Thanksgiving! (Edited to add: Each state offers its own services and I suggest searching online or calling your own state’s offices. In Oklahoma, you can follow this link to go to the volunteer page of Oklahoma DHS.)

My favorite thing I learned from Lindsy was that there are actually programs where you can sponsor families just like you can sponsor individual kids. There are moms who want to parent their children but they don’t have the resources they need. We can help them. Have you heard about microfinancing? It’s a loan program to help vulnerable families get on their feet. While we are on the subject of moms who want to keep their kids, awhile back I learned about adoption ethics. I think it’s an important issue for everyone to think about. I’m not telling you what to think, I’m just saying everyone should be aware.

Lindsy suggested two books: “Orphan Justice” and “Orphanology.”

Orphan Sunday is the first Sunday of November. Go here for resources on that.

Fellow bloggers: Look into blogger programs with Worldhelp, Compassion or Lifesong  to help raise awareness in your circle of influence.

I know that a lot of times we aren’t even aware of the needs around us. And sometimes when we are, it just seems so overwhelming and we don’t know what we can do. I hope you will look into some of the links here.

Everyone can do something. And Christians are commanded to. 

The last thing I want to say on this topic is that we all need to be praying for orphans and their families. We need to be asking God to show us and help us to do our part. And the devil isn’t going to like it so we better cover it all in prayer.

God can even use 31-day writing challenges

12 Oct

I know this sounds so crazy but God is using this 31-day writing challenge in my life. I don’t always post about how because I am still trying to process things for myself but it’s getting weird, y’all. Because of participating in this challenge, I started following some other blogs which led me to other blogs which led me to seeing things on Instagram and websites that I would have never seen otherwise. But what is happening over and over again is that I’m having these thoughts pop into my head and then literally that day I will see something that specifically affirms what I was thinking maybe I should be doing. That sounds a little confusing but here’s an example.

Yesterday morning Spencer and I woke up before Jack and these are some of the exact words I said to him: “I’ve been thinking lately that I could get up earlier and do a few things before Jack wakes up since he sleeps so late now (7:30-8am) but he’s such a light sleeper in the mornings I would probably wake him up.” Which led me to thinking that I could start doing my Bible and prayer time before Jack gets up rather than during his nap time and then I could do something else during naps. Then, later that day, I saw this interview with Kat Lee  where she was talking about her e-book, Maximize your Mornings. Which I haven’t read yet (but I did order it) (because it was free) but I’m pretty sure is the result of her feeling like God was telling her to get up and spend time with Him before her kids were up.

So. Seems like I should probably look into that.

Churches: where everyone should feel welcome

29 Jul

The other day, a friend of mine posted a link to this article. I have noticed a lot of chatter on this topic lately and it’s really all over the place. So, this post is not a post about the issue of why millennials are leaving the church. But, there is one sentence in the piece that struck me and stuck with me for a few days. It’s one of those things that I think about when I’m vacuuming or taking a shower. And usually I have to write about and discuss these things with others before my brain will leave them alone and move on. It works and works and works on ideas against my will. I’d rather be thinking about ice cream. Anyway, let’s get into it.

The line that keeps replaying in my mind is this one: “We want our LGBT friends to feel truly welcome in our faith communities.” Of course! We want EVERYONE to feel truly welcome in our faith communities, especially our friends!  This is such a difficult issue. Here are some things that I think make it sticky.

1. Homosexual activity is clearly called a sin in Scripture (yes, even in the new Testament). So, many are waiting on churches to say something like “We do not think there is anything wrong with homosexual behavior anymore.” And, in a Biblically-based faith, that will not ever happen.

2. People are human, including those within whom the Holy Spirit dwells. Sometimes they will not handle things the right way.

3. Churches are full of people who really aren’t filled with the Holy Spirit- Churchians rather than Christians, if you will. Churches are also filled with people who are true servants of Christ so I don’t want anyone to think I’m down on churches. It’s just that there is a mixture of people there and we need to realize that so that we don’t meet one bad apple and assume the rest are bad too. Everyone there is a work in progress so don’t get mad if people aren’t perfect.

4. Many people think that if it doesn’t affect you, then it is none of your business and you shouldn’t say anything about it. This causes division because those who have studied the Bible know that we are supposed to admonish one another. (Which, btw, most people really don’t want to admonish their brothers and sisters. It’s very uncomfortable.)

I think what we have going on is a whole bunch of defensiveness and emotionalness (I feel like that should be a word). If straight people and gay people could talk openly about these issues without automatically assuming the other person is going to hate them or be disrespectful towards them and actually really listen and consider what the other person says, I think we could all feel a lot more comfortable with each other. When you get mad because someone disagrees with you, the opportunity to learn anything from the differences ends.

So, I think it’s important to think about what would truly make a gay person feel welcomed by a faith community, as the author put it.  (Side bar: This could probably apply to anyone who is OPENLY and continually engaged in a certain sin. Secret sins obviously don’t make the sinner feel unwelcome because no one knows about them. But, take a known drug user or someone living with their partner outside of marriage and apply the same ideas about being welcoming.) I think to make someone feel loved, it is important to tell them you love them. And, I think it is important to explain that God loves them. Where we run into confusion is that God’s love is not like the world’s love. So, Christians know that engaging in unrepentant sin is always harmful to people. And we want to help each other. And we are supposed to help each other. We just don’t always know how to. We are commanded to rebuke one another, exhort one another, speak the truth in love, etc. but we are also commanded to do it with gentleness. But, it’s hard to be gentle when you have the world telling you that you are not allowed to believe any offensive parts of the Bible and you are certainly not supposed to tell anyone else about them. We push back. Because we are people. It’s an impossible balance for the human mind to figure out, I think. How can we be gentle and loving AND speak the truth when the world tells us that it is hateful and in fact, not the truth?

So, while this post is mainly meant for me to organize my thoughts and clear out my head, I also wanted it to be about Christians needing to realize that some people might want to come to church but they think they aren’t welcome. And we really do want them to feel welcome (Seriously, if you have been wanting to go to church but you feel anxious about it, just go. The majority of people will be really nice to you.) But, now I think I also want to ask my gay friends to  extend some grace to the straight Christians who love you because maybe they just don’t always know the perfect thing to say. It’s hard to communicate to someone that even though you do judge their sexual behavior as wrong behavior (because you believe the Bible), you do also love them, they are still welcome with you, you do not think it is your job to force them to stop, and you are not denying that you yourself have also engaged in behavior the Bible says is wrong. Though eloquent it is not, maybe we should just say that? I don’t know.

For instance, Spencer and I lived together before we were married. So, clearly everyone knew I was in open, continual, unrepentant sin. Did I feel a little awkward when people at a new church asked if we were married? Um, yeah. Because then they were going to know. But no one was mean to me about it. And I didn’t feel unwelcome even though I knew that they knew I was sinning. But, I realize that heterosexual premarital sex is often not treated the same way as homosexual activity so I realize there may be more anxiety for the gay person  than there is for the shacking-up person. And church members need to recognize that and check their hearts to make sure they are not putting up walls sub-consciously. BTW, the author cited the church’s obsession with sex and I think that the reason for any obsession, if there is one, is that sexual sin is so common and so difficult to escape from. Therefore, I would say an obsession, if the obsession is to help those struggling with sexual sin, is totally appropriate.

Note: I do agree with some things and disagree with others in the article referenced above. For one thing, if she’s right, then how would she explain the explosion of churches that do offer the things she’s saying millennials don’t care about (think LifeChurch and those like it: coffee shops, light shows, concert atmosphere, etc.)?

Another note: We are still looking for our church home and trying to figure out how to attend both Sunday school and church right in the middle of Jack’s nap time. I am not an active member anywhere. We have been attending worship services randomly but I’ve been doing most of my learning through online communities and independent Bible study lately.

An additional note: I’m not a teacher, a theologian or an expert on anything. I am just a woman trying to do what is pleasing to God and to speak the truth in love. I like to discuss because it helps me learn. I know that every topic I write about has been discussed to death by others. But this is my way to open the dialogue with people I know rather than just the whole world-at-large.

A further note: This post is really not directed towards people who hate God or think Christians are stupid bigots. So, we don’t really have to argue about that. I understand that those people do not have regenerated hearts and to them I absolutely sound dumb. And, that’s fine. It’s just pointless to argue about.

A note in addition to the other notes: I really hate that “welcome and greet each other” time at the beginning of worship services. It’s super awkward.

Wasty-faced

28 Jun

Welp, here it is 9:15 and I’m still in my night gown, sitting down to write rather than be a productive member of this household. The path of destruction left by the toddler tornado needs to be picked up, laundry needs to be folded, I need a shower and who really can say for sure when the floor got vacuumed last? But I’m using nap time to write a blog. Because I’m a communicator, people. I need to talk to my peeps. Er, write to my peeps. I mean, type to my peeps. By the way, when are we just going to drop the word “write”  from our vocab? It’s really not accurate anymore. Kind of like “video tape.” As in, “I wish I would’ve video taped Jack’s first swim.” Well, you know what I mean but my grand-kids are gonna be totally confused by that phrase. Also, toy phones. I mean, toy phones do not look like the phones we use. But, I digress. Reel it in, Brown.

I’ve been doing some reflectionating lately mainly because of social media. I follow a whole bunch of preachers, evangelists, churches, etc on FB. It’s very helpful. I learn things. Mainly I get snippets of information which gives me ideas and questions which helps me decide what part of the Bible to be studying. Because the Bible is very long, y’all.  There are a lot of things in it so I find it somewhat overwhelming at times. Anyway, so sometimes I share their posts. Recently I’ve been getting the feeling that some people feel like I’m starting to think I’m pretty saintly. Which is not the case. I just think that if these posts are helpful to me, they might be to others as well. But, since I am on a journey of learning and growing in my faith (rather than standing still like I was for several years), I want to discuss my thoughts on an area that has had a major impact on my life: ALCOHOL.

I used to drink A LOT. I was probably half in the bag in that profile pic up there. If you visited the town of Stillwater between the years of about 2006 and 2009, you probably saw me skipping drunkenly down the streets high-fiving people. Or something like that. Because I’m a pretty happy drunk. Then, I moved to OKC and continued the party. Mainly because I was bored. I started drinking heavily out of depression because of some major life changes that were just very stressful. It was an escape. And I made a lot of bad decisions then. And I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I had no idea what feelings I was feeling until after I’d gotten past it. But, when I was past it, the drinking continued. It had become a habit and I really didn’t know how to pass time any other way anymore. I did try to slow it down. Because I was starting to realize how much valuable time I was wasting (between the actual drinking time and the recovery time) and how much money I was spending. It was pointless but I still didn’t stop. And I was still suppressing any feelings of guilt because I knew what I was doing was sinful but since I couldn’t quit (on my own, mind you. I was too scared to ask God to make me quit because then I really might quit and what was I going to do then?), I just told myself I wasn’t doing any harm to my fellow man and so it was fine.

Now, a note about knowing it was sinful. Alcohol is not inherently evil. If you drink a beer or have a glass of wine, I don’t think that automatically means you are sinning. If it did, then it would be clearly stated in the Bible. However, if you are a Christian, you will know at what point you are sinning with alcohol. The Holy Spirit will tell you and it’s up to you if you listen or not. (Obviously if you’re not a Christian then this doesn’t apply to you and feel free to get as drunk as a skunk if you want). There are verses that address this and we are clearly not supposed to get drunk and we all know that it does lead to debauchery. Alcohol lowers inhibitions but inhibitions are there for a reason. So, my advice is, don’t kid yourself.

Now, how did I quit? Got pregnant. It’s not like I overcame my sin. And, I have drank since Jack’s been born. Actually, when I was struggling with post-partum depression I wanted to drown in alcohol. I literally had to fight myself not to stop at the bar one afternoon on the way to the grocery store when Spencer was home with Jack. If you feel like this, you really may need to talk to a doctor or a counselor. Luckily, my medicine evened me out long enough for my hormones to quit attacking my brain and it’s fine now (I’m off my meds and back to being myself). Now, I have no desire to ever get wasted again. It’s not worth it to me anymore and I thank God for that. Spencer and I have both prayed about it and He has helped us. I still might have a drink or two now and then and I feel peaceful about that because I do not have the urge to keep going anymore. I have an “off” switch now that wasn’t there before.

So, there. I have bared my soul for the world to see. The whole point of sharing all this is to acknowledge my wild past. I don’t want anyone to think I’m putting on a show or pretending to be perfect. I used to be drunk a lot. And that was not of God and I’m glad it’s over. So, when I’m sharing things from the Bible, please don’t think I’m preaching at you. I know I get pretty preachery sounding (that has been a life-long trait) with my “shoulds” and “rights” versus “wrongs” but I’m always talking to myself as much as everyone else. I like these topics and think they make us better people when we address them. I promise my intentions are  just to share things that I think might help somebody because they’ve helped me and I sure don’t think I’m Miss Perfect. Mkay? Feel free to share your own thoughts. I promise I don’t get mad about questions/disagreements/discussion.

Baby’s awake-gotta go! Love ya!

Whatever makes you happy

15 Jun

“You should do whatever makes you happy.”  <—– Most immature, misleading, selfish and detrimental phrase I can think of. This has been on my heart so much lately. It seems like everywhere I turn, I’m being reminded of what a vicious storm this idea causes in people’s lives every day.

When did doing whatever makes you “happy” become a noble way to live? I feel certain that my great-grandparents probably never heard that as a life lesson from their parents.

I know it seems nice on the surface. I know that the people I hear say it really do have good intentions. But sometimes it seems like we live in a world where the surface is all there is. We need to rediscover critical thinking. Let’s dig down into every common phrase and uncover what they really mean. Think, everybody! It’s not wise. It’s not thoughtful. It’s hasty and indulgent.

What does “happy” even mean? Can a person be happy every day for the rest of their lives if they just make the right choice? Happy is a temporary emotion that only lasts as long as the circumstances and circumstances are constantly changing with or without our permission. Let’s think about it. How often is “I just need to do what makes me happy” used as an excuse for a parent to leave their spouse for someone else? How often is it used to leave a mother alone to raise a baby? How often is it used for a mother to take her babies to live with another man? And does a decision that causes your children pain ever really make you happy? I know you think it will. If you can just get rid of this jerk and go be with your soul mate, you will be happier which will make your kids happy. Hmmmm…

That’s not the only example. It’s just the one I keep seeing everywhere. If our decisions hurt other people, or cause us to do what we know is wrong (even if we are able to justify it for a short time), we will not have that happiness that we are so desperate to find. I bet you’ve already experienced this in your life. I have. So, let’s stop. Let’s flip the script. Let’s rebel against buying the lie that we need to “do what makes us happy.” Let’s do what is RIGHT instead. Let’s do what’s responsible, what’s charitable and let’s honor our commitments. And then, instead of our grand kids remembering us and saying something like “He always did what made him happy” maybe they will say “She did the right thing. She was an honorable woman. She sacrificed for others.”

Don’t you think?

Why I haven’t said squat about Gosnell

15 May

A few people have been wondering why I haven’t been raging commenting on the Kermit Gosnell trial. I would’ve if the media had continued to ignore it as per their original plan. But, we hollered enough that they had to cover it. So, what is there for me to say about it?

Get this: If you think what Kermit Gosnell was convicted of murder for is actually murder, then there’s no logical way for you to think that abortion isn’t murder. If you know that abortion is murder and you are fine with it, then I have nothing to say. I probably should but I have only so much energy.

Gosnell was snipping the backs of the necks of babies born alive during an abortion. And he got in trouble for it. I don’t really get it. The lady goes in there to have her baby killed. Which is fine with America. The baby comes out and it’s not all the way dead so they finish the job after it is all the way out. This is not fine with America? It’s the same thing, people.

I also want everyone to think about when YOU believe a baby has been born. I’m not saying go Google the definition. Use your brain and decide. Is it when the whole head is out? The top half of the body? The whole body? What if it’s a breech birth and the feet come out first? When the umbilical cord is cut? Once he or she has had the mucus suctioned out of his or her nostrils? Would it have been okay with you if the baby was just crowning and Gosnell stabbed it in the top of the head rather than snipping its neck? How about if it was in the birth canal and he stabbed it in there? How do you think abortions are performed? Where is the dividing line between murdering a baby and emptying/discarding uterine contents? Don’t you think every person could feasibly have a different idea of when that is?

Please, please, please stop trying to be “nice” by refusing to condemn abortion because you know someone who had one. Please stop blindly assuming the position that your political party tells you to. Please stop being ignorant of the human body and believing that an unborn baby is a female reproductive organ. Please, just use your brain and think about this. You either think it’s wrong to murder people or you don’t. Own that.

Right Unchained

23 Apr

Last night we watched “Django Unchained.” If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil it but basically it’s about a slave who is bought by a bounty hunter to help him with his job. The bounty hunter and Django formulate a scheme to rescue Django’s enslaved wife. So, throughout the movie, you see slaves being mistreated (okay, they are being mistreated just by being enslaved, no matter how “nice” their master was to them. But I didn’t know how else to put it.) and it made me feel so angry and sad for them because even though it’s a movie, that stuff did really happen. And Spencer and I are sitting there feeling very uncomfortable after a scene where dogs are released to rip to shreds a runaway slave.

You feel like you need to say something in a moment like that. I don’t know why. I avert my eyes because it’s just so sickening and I can feel Spencer’s eyes on me. I don’t know why. You feel the need to acknowledge how wrong it is. I don’t know why. Just so everyone knows that you find it just horrendous? Isn’t that so obvious that we shouldn’t have to make eye contact or say anything at all? I don’t know. So I just didn’t look at him. But I still felt the urge. And I don’t know why.

But what I kept thinking in those moments is how every time us modern day white folks watch or read about slavery, we like to think we would’ve done something about it.  We would’ve done something. But, the reality is, most of us wouldn’t have. Let that sink in and really think about it. Imagine you lived in the south back then. Imagine about 1 in 3 of your friends owned slaves or were related to someone who did. Imagine that some of your friends said that they would never own a slave themselves but that they didn’t mind if others did. And imagine your government said slavery was totally cool. What would you do? Not look when the slaves were being whipped? Encourage people not to whip their slaves and make sure they were fed? Maybe pray about it? But most of us wouldn’t DO anything. For one thing, we wouldn’t know what we could do and for another, we would be afraid people would get mad at us if we vocalized our feelings about how wrong slavery is. So, yeah, we would preoccupy ourselves with other evils of our age and turn a blind eye to the biggest one happening right in our backyards. And when we were old and slavery had been abolished our grandkids might ask us if we helped fight against slavery with hope in their voices. And we would be ASHAMED of ourselves when we said “Well, I never owned a slave.” Or, “Well, I wrote a letter to the local slave owners and asked them not to whip their slaves.” Or, “Our church prayed about it one Sunday every year.” And we should be ashamed. And we should cry out for forgiveness. If we lived back then.

So, I think you know where I’m going with this one. When our grandkids are watching a movie about abortion and they are seeing how babies are LITERALLY RIPPED LIMB FROM LIMB or POISONED WITH SALINE or CUT OFF FROM THE UMBILICAL CORD which obviously causes them to die from a lack of nutrition and oxygen, they are going to be horrified. And they are going to ask us what we did to help the defenseless. And we are going to give a real answer that says we tried everything we could or we are going to avoid eye contact as we tell them that we voted pro-life or that we participated in Sanctity of Life Sunday at our church. I’m dead stinkin’ serious, friends. Maybe you’ll say, “Well, I was too busy working on human trafficking.” Human trafficking is horrible. I know it. But here’s why I don’t think we can sacrifice abortion for trafficking: Mainly because trafficking is illegal and abortion is not. Yes, it still happens but at least our government isn’t condoning, even advocating, it. At least we can all agree that trafficking is bad. Abortion needs a lot of help and publicity to get to trafficking status. I’m not saying don’t help end human trafficking. I’m saying don’t do that instead.

If you don’t even know how babies are killed in an abortion, you need to read this. It explains the different methods. In case you thought it was civilized murder. Don’t be like the neighbor who thought the plantation owner’s slaves were just a part of the family and happy to be such. Don’t be so afraid of hurting the slave owner’s feelings or making him feel guilty that you let people die.

apathy

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