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Oh, boy!

11 Oct

This boy is all boy. He is dirty and noisy and he likes anything with wheels. He is also crazy determined and independent. And not that cuddly. This boy is always moving and he never wants to snuggle or let me rock him. He’s got things to do! So, a lot of the times, I’m grabbing him as he goes by and squeezing him to me and trying to kiss him while he’s kicking his legs and shoving my face away. It’s a little insulting sometimes. I’m like a desperate girl with a crush on a boy who still thinks girls have cooties. Or like Elmyra (remember her?) with her pets. I just want to love him and hug him and squeeze him forever.

015So, when it was getting close to nap time and I sat him down on the couch to watch some cartoons and chill out for a minute, it just turned me to mush when he put his hand on my shoulder and held on. I felt like a giddy school girl the moment her crush takes her hand in his the first time. He likes me! He actually likes me!

When I feel weary and worn out, these little moments bring me such joy and inspiration. His sweet little hand can motivate and remind me why I want to get anything together in the first place.

It’s a vlog!

8 Oct

Hey, everybody! I did a vlog! It’s my first one ever so you might want to mark this moment on your calendar. Er, probably not. Anyway, it’s about fifteen minutes long and the first half is about Toddler Time with Jack and the second half is about me wanting to be a writer. WordPress wanted $60 for a video upgrade for me to be able to upload and embed videos and I was all, “Uh-uh. No. I ain’t doing that.” So, it’s on YouTube and we are viewing it that way.

No one was at my door, btw. It was the neighbors getting a cellar installed.

Here are some things I learned from my first vlog.

1) I didn’t think I would have anything to say but rather than just plan it out like a sane person would do, I just went for it. Turns out, I could ramble to myself for quite a while. In case I ever need to.

2) The video quality is pretty poor. I used my webcam that came installed in the computer. Oh, well.

3) I did the video in my bedroom rather than the kitchen bar area where I usually keep my computer because Jack was napping and I didn’t want to wake him up. I put the computer on an overturned laundry basket on my bed. Which made it wiggle every time I wiggled which was kind of a lot because I talk with my hands apparently.

 

Jack Attack numero…ummm…quatro?

29 May

I can’t remember what number I’m on. Anyway, Jack turned 10 months old yesterday and we had a well baby check today so I thought it might be a good time to record some stats/memories so that maybe I can write it in a baby book. As soon as I remember to buy a baby book.

He weighed 21lbs and was 28 inches tall. He likes to eat everything in the universe except eggs. He’s not real big on those. He will aggressively grab any food or drink from anyone at anytime. He basically weaned himself from breastfeeding completely around 8 months which was FINE with me. He is running. Yes, running. The doctor even corrected me today when I said he was walking after she saw him going for a container in her office (which he thought had food in it). He climbs and dives off furniture whenever possible. He is sleeping excellent from about 7:30pm until about 5:30am. He has chubby cheeks and disproportionately large thighs considering the rest of him isn’t very fat. He says “Dada” CONSTANTLY, “Mama” occasionally and “uh-oh” when we drop something or when Spencer and I kiss (I have no idea why). He is skeptical of strangers but will usually let people hold him without having a fit. He is only still when he’s asleep. He’s a little sweetie pie most of the time. IMG_1509

But we have a poop problem. It’s been like a parade of poop around here lately. The other day, he poops his drawers, takes his diaper off and brings it to me. In the other room. I have no idea how long the diaper was off, where he sat or what he touched on the way to me. Then, Spencer was letting him have “naked time” which is apparently a man thing and Jack squatted right next to me and laid a cow patty. I almost threw up. Today, I was giving him a bath and you know where this is going. I put this bubble bath stuff in there because it makes the water cloudy which prevents him from seeing and therefore grabbing the drain plug. So, he poops in the bath but I have no idea about that until the water drains. DISGUSTING. I have a pic if you’d like to see it. It’s getting those little gems as texts that keep Spencer going during the day, I feel sure.

Also, he’s obsessed with wheels. He really likes music, including my singing, which proves that this child and I were meant to be together! If I had to describe Mr. Jack in one word, it would be “determined.”

Killin’ Time

4 Apr

Who misses Clint Black? Raise your hand! I do, I do!

In case you were wondering, I’m super awesome at taking care of a baby. It’s really sweet around here. I just carry him around in one arm singing charming little lullabies while vacuuming in kitten heels.

IMG_0880This is Jack tipping over whilst I try to take a cute bathtub hair pic. Don’t worry,  he caught himself before getting a face full of water. I’m teaching him independence. HAHA By the way, this pic helped me notice how nasty the caulking in our guest bath is. I can’t clean it off, so should I just caulk over it or what? Help a sista out!

Speaking of that little toot, he has currently been napping for 2.5 hours when his normal morning nap is about 40 minutes. This is a very good sign. Every time this has happened, he has gone into a sleeping through the night for a week or two phase. *fingers crossed*! But, I’ve pretty much wasted the whole nap time because I keep expecting it to be over so I don’t want to start a workout or a shower, etc. Dang! I guess I’ll write a blog, right?

Also, we had a big family get together here at the house for Easter. It went really well and was fun to have everybody in one spot. We missed those who couldn’t make it but that’s the way it goes! The only bad news is that the house stunk to high heaven because something is going on with our oven. My grandpa insisted the rolls were on fire, Spencer insisted our propane always makes the oven smell that way and my grandma mentioned (she doesn’t usually insist) that once her oven smelled like that and there was mouse pee by the pilot light. So, if you ate a roll at my house on Easter…Sorry. It might’ve been from a mouse pee oven.

Next random topic: The Whole 30 diet. I want to do it but I’m scared. It’s pretty much like a Paleo diet. If you have any info on it, you should share it with me. If you want more info, we need to read the book It all Starts with Food and peruse these websites: Whole9 and Grit and Glamour. My wonderful husband agreed that he would stick to it when he was around me so that I wouldn’t be unnecessarily tempted. The authors really make you feel guilty about waiting to start or putting it off but within the next thirty days are my birthday, one of my best friends’ bachelorette party and her wedding. I mean, I’m not going to take a sack lunch to a wedding. I know there will always be excuses but I don’t have anything planned for the thirty days after their wedding so I think I will plan on starting my 30 days on May 13. Plus I really, really, really want to stick to it 100% without cheating one single sip (like wedding champagne) or bite (like wedding cake).  I’m hoping that it will permanently change my eating and I will only reintroduce reasonable things like some grains, legumes and potatoes as well as probably allowing one cheat day per week. We will see. I will be studying up between now and then!

Okay, I think that’s all I have to share.

P.S. I could’ve done a workout, showered and cleaned my house by now if I had started at the beginning of this nap rather than sitting around waiting on him to wake up so we could go to the gym!

Some mama stuffs

22 Mar

I have been doing a lot of reflecting here lately. Okay, I always do a lot of reflecting. But I feel a little looney because I haven’t had time to write any of it down. And my thoughts never make too much sense to me until I get them written down. It’s like when I’m thinking, I’m trying to connect concepts but it’s really hard to keep track of what I was thinking about the first one while I figure out the second one. So, if this thing seems a bit discombobulated, that’s because it is. Get it?! Okay, great! Moving on!

So, I don’t have a whole bunch of time to write about everything I’d like to write about right now because Spencer’s out of town and I’m in charge of everything for a few days. Which means I’m tired, basically. But, here are the high spots I wanted to hit, at least.

I’ve been thinking A LOT about stay-at-home-mommying recently. Mainly because a childless person I know recently told me I “clearly have too much time on my hands.” HAHAHA So clueless. Everyone who has a kid knows what a ridiculous statement that is, whether they stay home or not. I don’t blame the people without kids for not “getting it.” Not too long ago, I was one and I didn’t get it, either. But, there are also some moms who work away from home who seem to think staying at home is a cakewalk. I get that, too. I know that working moms have to take care of stuff at home AND be gone to work all day. I don’t know what that’s like but I can guess that it’s pretty hectic and tiring. So maybe my life isn’t as hectic. But, it’s not like Jack just plays quietly by himself while I do housework. Seriously, if keeping kids were easy, daycare would be a lot cheaper (BTW, you couldn’t pay me enough money to run a daycare so props to those childcare workers with that special gift!) Yep, I sure do stay in my PJs half the day. But, do you know why that is? Because it’s pointless to put on decent clothes when no adult is going to see you and you know you’re going to end up with puke, poop and food on you before too long anyway. And do I sit around watching the Today show while drinking my coffee? Um, no. I do have the Today show on just to hear some conversation and I did make coffee for Spencer but I’m probably not going to get to sit down and drink it all at once. I kinda just take big swigs when I pass my cup which has to stay on an out-of-reach surface so the little guy doesn’t get burned.

Yes, a baby is climbing up my leg while I pee, but I think the bigger question is, why did I have my phone so handy while peeing?!

Yes, a baby is climbing up my leg while I pee, but I think the bigger question is, why did I have my phone so handy while peeing?!

Listen, I’m by no means complaining about being a stay-at-home mom. But it’s no walk in the park for me (Maybe for some mamas who are naturally home-bodies and have nurturing, selfless personalities it is super fun but I bet it’s still not easy). There have been lots of days when I really, really, really wanted to have a job to go to. I want to talk about important things with grown ups. I want to wear nice clothes. I want to be able to stop at a convenience store and be able to go in without having to wake a baby up. Seriously. I have been jealous of Spencer for some crazy things. I envy his lunch hour. I remember those. I envy his ability to stop anywhere he wants between here and work. I envy his quiet drive to and from work- and I hate driving. I envy the fact that since he has a job, he is the one who gets to stay in bed when the baby’s up six nights per week (he gives me Friday nights off so that I don’t flee the country). He is on a work trip to Dallas right now and I’m jealous of that. Honestly, who would wish they could go to a sales meeting in Dallas? This girl would! But it’s okay. Because that’s not the deal. And I could get a job if that’s what I wanted to do. But when I weigh the pros and cons, being home with Jack wins. And it always will as long as I’m fortunate enough to have the choice. But all I’m saying is, no mom who is doing a good job has it easy (I’m also not saying Spencer has it easy. I know he busts his tail at a stressful job to keep us all in shoes). Do some have it easier than others? No doubt. But trust me when I say my life was comparatively stressless and carefree before I had a baby. Including being pregnant.

Maybe our generation is just poorly prepared for mommy-hood, especially those of us who got old and set in our own selfish ways before we started having kids. I mean, I’m sure our mothers would laugh at how baffling this has all been for me. But we were raised to expect to have our cake and eat it to. We were brought up thinking that we could have a high-powered career, a Martha Stewartesque home, a tight little behind and be great moms all at the same time. Maybe some women can. I can’t. But that’s what I’ve been striving for all this time. The impossible. And that’s what I have to wrap my head around from time to time. Sacrifice. Let it sink in. I can’t have EVERYTHING. That’s all there is to it. What a novel idea.  God is teaching this lady some lessons these days, let me tell ya. I just hope I learn ’em.

So, with all that being said, here are a few things you should check out.

In this letter, Dear Mom on the iPhone, this lady says what many appear to be thinking. Thanks for the guilt-trip, but mind your own business. No, really. Do. The gal over at Fried Okra agrees. So do about a million others if you care to Google it.

I’ve got a friend who has three adopted boys. The oldest is about 2 1/2, I think, and the other two are like, five months and one month or something really close to that. So, yeah. Her life is like, basically, psycho. I mean, the younger two aren’t even like having twins because they are probably just far enough apart that they don’t have similar schedules. WHEW. Anyway, she wrote this post recently which touched my heart. Then her sister shared this post which made me feel relieved and I really wanted to high-five the author.

My kid is eating dirt daily. And I only have one. Wow.

My kid is eating dirt daily. And I only have one. Wow.

And then on a different note, my sister shared this post today which made me so super glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. It’s about raising daughters in a world that tells them their main goal in life is to be sexy. And even though I don’t have a daughter, I am one. And I know what it’s like. And I know how so many times young men do not realize the emotional effect they can have on a girl and how vulnerable she may be. They may not realize how different sex is for men and for women, especially when they are young and reckless. Ladies, even if you never gave a piece of yourself away because you thought it would make him love you, I bet you have friends who did. So, mothers of daughters, yes, teach your girls how to treat themselves and their sisters. And mothers of sons, let’s teach them how to respect young ladies. And dads, you have a major role in this one, too. MAJOR. Maybe even more major than mom’s role for the girls because the relationship you have with your daughter will shape her relationships with other men as she gets older.

Alright, my head feels much more empty and peaceful now, how about yours?! I think that’s all I have to say about that. Love ya, mean it!

Jack attack numero tres (? I think?)

13 Mar

Watching Jack play this morning, I decided this is my favorite age (7.5 months) and I don’t want him to get any bigger. If he could just stay this adorable, that would be great. I’m glad to feel this way, actually. I always hear moms saying things like “Oh, I had to pack up the three-month sizes last night and it was so sad. He’s getting too big!” And I’m all like, “Grow baby, grow!” The main reason is probably that I figure at some point in his life he will have to start sleeping through the night consistently and that seems like it might be the best age, whatever age it is. But this week he’s done alright, only waking up once in the middle of the night, and I can handle that. Plus, no offense to any newborns who may be reading this, but babies are pretty boring before three months of age. They are sweet and snugly and all but I can only look at a baby just laying there for so long. 7.5 months is definitely much more exciting.

About two weeks ago we went through a Wonder Week (A week when a mental development happens and they are cranky, clingy and cry a lot because of being overwhelmed). It was in the top two worst ones he’s had. The other one was around three months, I think. But, we woke up one morning and he smiled and I knew the storm had passed. Hallelujah. My happy little buddy is back! In other baby book type information, he still has no teeth and loves every kind of food I have offered him which is pretty much everything.

It’s really amazing how quickly they learn. One day they can’t crawl and the next day they can. The other day I taught him how to clap and he was so excited. So was I, actually.

It was the first time that we had real, clear two-way communication that we both understood (other than when he sees a bottle and gets all excited or something).

I know this is a bad picture but I just want to prove to everyone how psycho about food this kid is. He is trying to get that bottle on the dresser.

I know this is a bad picture but I just want to prove to everyone how psycho about food this kid is. He is trying to get that bottle on the dresser.

It felt like I imagine it would feel if I lived with someone who spoke Japanese and all of a sudden I figured out what one of her words meant. We were pumped. Now I get why parents are all excited about the smallest things that their kids learn. It’s so funny to watch them figure out a new skill, even if it’s something as simple as learning to tilt the sippy cup all the way up to get a drink. But, let’s keep it rizzle- there’s a difference between being excited and bragging. Please, Lord, don’t ever let me be one of those people bragging about how their kid just found his pee-pee or something. But, go ahead and watch this video cause it’s cute, I don’t care who you are.

Clapping

Anyhoo. There are a few problems with a baby at this stage, of course. For a few weeks now, he’s been pulling up on everything in sight. And by everything, I mean Smokey’s face, the sliding glass door, dresser drawers, the dishwasher, his crib (back to the pack ‘n play- AGAIN), his pack ‘n play, my legs, blankets hanging off the couch and anything else he can get his grubby fingers on. Literally, his fingers are always disgusting from mashing his finger foods and then wiggling too much when I try to wash his hands so I don’t get them good enough. I thought this was real cute and fun the first time he did it but it’s actually a major headache. Literally. He busts his face or tips over backwards and bangs his head constantly. If he would just hang on it would be okay but he thinks since he can stand up that he should be able to walk. I’m sure that once he can walk, he will think he should be able to do double back hand-springs or something. He actually has his first shiner right now from pulling the baby monitor off my nightstand onto his eye. It’s plastic and super-light. I have no idea how it actually bruised him but let me tell ya, I expect a few stitches are in this kid’s future.

Also, his naps are just basically pointless. He takes about three that are 30-45 minutes long. Now, if we could condense those into one, we would be getting somewhere.

This morning I thought his foot (in his onesie pajamas) looked like it was a weird shape. I felt it and it felt like a weird shape. There was a SPOON in there. Why? How? I have not a clue.

His top three favorite foods: Paper, socks and leaves.

His top three favorite foods: Paper, socks and leaves.

So, this is motherhood

7 Feb

Well, here’s one for ya. Spence had an appointment in OKC today but he took off the whole day so Jack and I decided to come with him. Well, Jack fell asleep on the way so I decided to just sit in the car with him whilst Spence tended to his business. But, I hadta pee. That’s normal. I apparently have a bladder the size of an underdeveloped acorn because even before I got pregnant, I had to go #1 constantly. While I was pregnant it was just ridiculous. Now it’s back to the normal (for me) amount but I’m pretty nervous about holding it ever since that time when Jack was a couple months old and I wet myself when I did a jumping jack.

So, I’m sitting here waiting and waiting for the kid to wake up (thank goodness I have a smart phone to entertain me) and it’s just not happening. Eventually I realize we are approaching a potential disaster. Even though I do have leather seats now, I did not bring an extra pair of pants. So, as I see it, I have three options.

1. Wake Jack up, go in to the office and use their facilities. Yeah, right. This is the one all you people who don’t have kids would probably pick.
2. Pee somewhere within view of the car which contains the sleeping babe.
3. Pee my pants.

Obviously option two is the only logical choice. I’m country. This really ain’t no thang. So, I start looking for the best place. I can go in front of the Suburban in between it and the wall which would protect me on three sides but leave the front passenger side open. I decide the spot least likely to earn me a place on the sex offender registry is in between my door and the back drivers side door. I’ve done this a lot, it’s just usually been in a more rural location.

While I’m considering this, the car parked next to me on the driver’s side pulls away. Greeeaaat. Now I have to wait for someone else to park there in order to have all four sides somewhat blocked. This also alerts me to the fact that the owner of the car I pee next to could come out at any moment. Well, I guess that’s called livin’ on the edge, people.

But eventually, another car does park beside me, thankfully. So, anyhoo, I get out, do my business, being careful not to squat far enough down that any of my bits are showing underneath the doors, keep an eye on the opening that presented the most threat of being seen, use a Schlotsky’s napkin and get back in. Jack is still asleep, I have not visually molested anyone and my bladder feels happy again.

But, there’s definitely pee all over my shoe. I guess I’m somewhat out of practice.

Jack attack numero tres

5 Jan

Y’all didn’t know I could hablo espanol so good, didja? Alrighty, Mr. Jack is now five months old and I happen to have a minute (even though I should probably definitely be vacuuming up the needles my Christmas tree shed instead of writing, but you know, documenting babyhood is important).

041

Around the four-month mark, this kid really became a human. Before that, he was a newborn. Newborns don’t really do that much. Now, he is on the move like Honey Boo Boo Child on Go-Go Juice (Mtn Dew with pixie sticks poured in). He is rolling all over the place which pretty much makes laying him on a blanket pointless when he’s playing on the floor but I still do it anyway.

We have tried a little bit of food but we’re pretty much holding off. He had a psycho sleep regression in there where I was pretty much more exhausted than when he was a newborn. It was terrible. Anyway, during that escapade I decided to give him some rice cereal to see if it would help hold him over longer at night. I had planned to wait until six months to introduce solids (based on current AAP recommendations and my own laziness) but plans really go out the window when you are desperate for sleep. He didn’t take too well to the rice cereal (apparently it wasn’t very tasty) so we waited a week or two and then gave him some oatmeal. Well. That was just a big ‘ole mess. He was trying to grab the spoon and shove it in his mouth and we both ended up covered in oatmeal. And he didn’t sleep longer. So, we waited another week or two and I mushed up some carrots to let him try. At this point everyone I know was asking me what all he was eating and I started to question whether I should be waiting or not. So, the carrots went the same way as the oatmeal and based on what his carrot diaper looked like, I don’t think he actually digested any of it. So, now we are waiting again. He’ll be six months on the 28th and I guess I really have to get on the solid train then. I’m not excited about baby food. I’m excited for finger food that he can feed himself. I did start giving him a bottle of formula every night right before bed (well, usually Spence does it-he’s the best dad ever, btw) because A.) He wanted to eat every five seconds and I was about to die B.) My freezer stash was all used up and C.) I know it takes longer to digest and reasoned that maybe he could last longer at night. It worked. Hallelujah! He likes it just fine and it takes some pressure off me so I’m happy about that. He has grown a lot lately and I don’t know if he just had a natural growth spurt or if it’s the formula but I tend to think the formula is chunking him up.

In other developmental news, he is able to sit up if I hold a hand on him for balance. If he tries to lean to reach something (let’s be honest, he’s always reaching for something) he topples right on over. But I think he’ll have that mastered pretty soon. He is trying soooo hard to crawl. It’s pretty funny. He’s desperate to get places. He gets up on all fours and then moves his legs but keeps his hands in the same place so he tips over. Half the time he also has a toy in one hand while attempting this. I’m thinking he probably won’t be able to get that down until he has enough balance to sit up unassisted. He’s very frustrated because he knows what he wants to do, he just can’t get it done. He seems like a pretty determined little feller. He also gets bored very quickly so we spend our days rotating room to room and toy to toy.

Jack loves cups, smart phones (no, the old Nokias do not interest him-I tried) and remote controls with colored buttons. He’s getting very demanding that he be given any of these three things anytime he sees them. He loves Smokey but Smokey is somewhat indifferent about Jack. He sniffs him a few times a day but that’s about as much interest as he can muster.

It's blurry because it's an action shot. And it was taken with a phone. These two are very wiggly.

It’s blurry because it’s an action shot. And it was taken with a phone. These two are very wiggly.

He has spent the night at both grandma’s houses and been a good boy both times. He’s still snugly and easy to get along with 98% of the time. We are best buds.

Jack attack numero dos

28 Nov

Well, Mr. Jack is now four months old! We had our doctor’s appointment yesterday and he weighs in at 13.12lbs and is 24.5 inches long. He is in the 50th percentile on height and the 25th percentile on weight (based on the standard chart which doesn’t make a distinction between formula and breast fed babies who typically gain weight slower). Do I sound defensive? Well, I am. Everyone can stop telling me my baby is small for his age. It’s rude. In fact, stop telling anyone your opinions on their baby’s size unless your opinion is that they are the perfect size. He was three weeks early. Also? His doctor doesn’t seem to think he’s a stunted midget.

Wow, that was unexpected. Sometimes I surprise even myself. Anyway, he is just getting cuter and funnier all the time. His new skills include giggling out loud and grabbing everything and putting it directly in his mouth. He is a pretty happy guy. He has had his first cold this week, which I think he may have picked up at his first trip to the church nursery, but he has remained in pretty good spirits even though he can barely breathe.

The bad news is that his schedule has just gone totally psycho. There for a few weeks he was actually sleeping through the night. Then, all of a sudden, he started waking up, like, five times a night! He eats at random times and sleeps at random times. This has been going on for about a month and I think is mainly due to growth spurts and mental developments. It’s gotten a little better the last few days. Also, he exercises in his sleep. It’s weird but I swear he is trying to learn to crawl while sleeping. He never does it while he’s awake.  The problem with this method is that he wakes himself up A LOT. Now that the holidays are passed we are slowly getting back on track.

I swear he’s starting to recognize his name. He thinks Smokey is pretty funny. He has learned how to cry now and he still thinks his thumbs are as delicious as ever. We just love this little poot!

 

30 things

23 Oct

Well, after a week or two of happy peacefulness, a demon has possessed my baby. He missed his afternoon nap yesterday because I had to go to the grocery store and now he’s so hyper-aware that he can’t sleep through any activity. We had a horrible time from 5pm to 11:30pm at which point he basically fainted from exhaustion and at which point I chugged a glass of Franzia. It doesn’t sound so bad until you consider the fact that it was 6 1/2 hours long. That’s almost a full work day of trying to keep a baby from killing you and setting your house on fire. He apparently is going through a growth spurt or a developmental leap or getting teeth or losing his dang mind. I don’t know but he has SCREAMED at me twice in the last two days which is very upsetting because he has never screamed before. The first time I thought something was hurting him and stripped him naked to look to see if there was a wasp or something in his diaper while Spencer laughed at me. This is one of the most difficult things about having a baby for me. We cant communicate very well with each other. I don’t know what he wants or what is bothering him. It’s very stressful. You feel sorry for the baby because he’s obviously distressed but also you feel sorry for yourself because what did you ever do to deserve this?!

So, this morning, in between putting him back to sleep every 13 seconds (for his morning nap which he usually sleeps great for two hours for) I was reading up on babies. Because I’m a control freak and knowledge is power. Well, it is, y’all. So, while perusing one of the best sites ever on baby sleep, Troublesome Tots, I found this hilarious and true list of 30 things about parenting that movies and tv shows never tell you. Be advised, it contains the F word.

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